Bankers in the Banking Hall
Yep. They done gone 'n done it.
With the rage that is 419 and its
accompanying intractable junk mail
usually sent under the guise of
Interswitch®, and the shocking behaviour
and absolute lack of respect the
Nigerian banking industry has meted
to the Nigerian people as discovered
in the last couple of months, you
would think that the professionals
in the industry would be more careful
to dot their i's and cross
their t's, especially as
far as circumspect behaviour goes.
I'm willing to
bet that 98% of Nigerians running
accounts of whichever specialised,
branded or promised-to-make-you-think-they're-thinking-of-you-but-actually-creating-new-ways-to-double-COT-and
packages; they deal with their fingers
crossed and fervently check their
account balances expecting some
frustrating fraudulent event to
strike. And I do wish I could say,
they - pardon - we have all
had our expectations and fears dashed.
Just the other day, a customer of
Oceanic Bank received an SMS alerting
him to the payment of his June salary
only to discover that his pay was
lodged in someone else's First Bank
account. Banking error. Apologies.
Will soon be cleared up. You'd think!
Not so. The following month, same
thing happened. And on the receiving
end, the crook (for that he surely
must be) was drawing out all the
sudden awoof money he'd come
upon with no idea of its source.
Or hadn't he? Oh, sorry. I understand
from someone's twittering that he
was expecting it from one of these
boju-boju MTN SMS one keeps
getting. That or, FG decided to
cut him in on the National Cake,
his lucky day hey?
Hm. A rat. Dead, seven days old.
Do you not smell it, too?
See, it's one thing when you watch
politicians and men (and women)
in positions of leadership and influence
absolutely and shamelessly making
arses of themselves and calling
ruinous prayers upon themselves
from us masses. I've said quite
a few m'self. But, it is unbearably
unnerving when the private sector,
betray and scorn the basic trust
the public has in it. The thought
that 419 scams are inside jobs is
disturbing, gravely demoralising.
You consider the information they
badger customers into turning over
in order to open an account only
to turn around and carry out identity
theft and steal from these
It has been argued that there are
only two institutions, Stanbic IBTC
and some other, that practice true
banking in Naija and not just trading
like market women. Alloy-wheeling,
amana-chilling market women
albeit. The rest merely terrorise
their employees into bringing in
cash ( a.k.a "meeting target") and
then use same funds to establish
businesses (see telecoms services),
steal the Small Man's livelihood
(see sales of recharge cards) and
- I shake my head at this one -
"dash" money to these "big boys
and their madams, and pikins"
who in turn oppress earlier referred
to Small Man. Meanwhile the
SME initiative is failing.
But wetin pain me pass? What belligerent
straw finally broke the camel's
back? I waka go Diamond Bank to
draw small kish. Na so dem begin
de toast me. Well, I acknowledge
the compliment as I'm about that
age where market value don de plateau.
But imagine my shock when three
weeks later, I got a call from the
paying Teller going all Bond on
me that I've got something he's
certain he wants. Shuu! Guy went
through my account details to fish
out my phone number. Na so?
Teris. October 13, 2009
I bet that 98% of
Nigerians ... deal
with their fingers
crossed and fervently
check their account
to strike. Alas!
"The internet is
this amazing tool
for sourcing information...
oh I love
you so much wikipedia "